On one of the last Sundays, our Epistle lesson was a great
text from Ephesians 5:21 and following verses.
I preached instead on the Gospel, but still wanted to talk about the
Ephesians text. It is a text that is
difficult and often misunderstood.
The text has two “commands”:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” and “Husbands, love
your wives as Christ loved the Church.”
It is important to hear both of these words of God together, and also
important to place them in context to the rest of the passage, which begins
with, “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.”
This text describes the relationship between husband and
wife, using it primarily as an example of Christ and the church. Therefore, a wife submits to her husband, as
she would submit to Jesus. This does not
mean that the wife must unreasonably obey commands from their husband such as
“Get me a beer! And then vacuum the house again! I’m the man around here!”
Submission to Christ means the willing reception of his
love. That is what the church does -
receives Christ’s love. Thus the
submission of the wife has nothing to do with being less than the man, or being
inferior, or being un equal. Rather it
has to do with being receptors of love.
Then in joyful response to the love given by the husband, she does willingly
serve her husband back in love. In
trust, she places herself in the care of her husband, just as we do with
Christ.
Husbands are to love their wives the same way that Christ
loves the church. Christ loved the
church so much that He gave up His life for her. He died to rescue her and to give her
countless gifts, such as life and salvation.
Thus the husband’s job is to give to the wife.
There is more to this than the normal idea of what a husband
is supposed to give to his family. Yes,
a husband gives of himself to provide food and shelter to the family. Yes, a husband should be willing to give his
life in place of his bride’s – to guard and protect her. But most importantly, he is to be the
spiritual head of the family. He gives
his family the words of God as scripture teaches them. That is why in the catechism it says, “As the
head of the household should teach them in a simple way.” Fathers are the ones who should be supervising
and insisting on teaching the faith to their children. That doesn’t mean moms shouldn’t help (they should),
but dads should really be the instigators of Christian education. To teach the faith, dads must really know
their catechisms to help pass it on.
St. John’s Bible study on Thursday nights this fall will be
further studying the roles of men and women in the church and go in depth
further. Please consider attending if
you are interested in learning more.
Also, Adriane Dorr (an editor for the Lutheran Witness) will be speaking
on this topic at the October Confessing Christ in the 21st Century
conference.
Back to husbands and wives.
This two-way relationship flows the way that St. Paul describes it. The husband gives and loves as Christ gives
and loves to the church, and the wife receives these gifts from the husband, in
love and in submission, as we receive joyfully from Jesus as members of the
church. This relationship of giving and
receiving has been going on since marriage was designed by God, and is central
to the institution of marriage.
There are many other issues that flow from this idea. Gay marriage is wrong, because in God’s
design it doesn’t work with two givers or two receivers in the same
relationship. Divorce is to be avoided
if at all possible because of the pain of destroying that trust-filled
relationship St. Paul describes. Living
together puts people into this relationship without the permanence that God
desires, leaving both people vulnerable.
These situations and others we see in our fallen world are not true
reflections of God’s design in marriage.
Now, I know that in this sinful world, marriage does not
always work as well as God designed it.
With sin, often times marriages are put in stressful situations or even
broken. Sometimes husbands or wives
misunderstand their roles, or even abuse their responsibilities. Lord, have mercy! This is not what God desires, or what we
want. Praise then be to Jesus Christ,
the true bridegroom, through whose giving of His life and blood, we are
forgiven forever. By His death and
resurrection, forgiveness reigns in our world, and marriages, even marriages on
the brink of destruction, can be restored.
We as the church receive that gift, and share it with one another. Even marriage cannot be separated from the
cross.
Wives, submit to your husbands – not as a slave, not as a
house cleaner, not as a second class citizen, but as we the church submit to
Christ out of trust in his gifts and love for us. Husbands, love your wife, not just a little
bit, not as a mushy feeling, but as a love that always seeks to give to your
wife everything that she needs to support her life and body in this world. When that relationship falls apart in our
sinful world, know that the forgiveness of the true groom Christ washes and
keeps us His bride in his gifts now and forevermore.
In Christ,
Pastor
